Meow Wolf in Nude Mexico!

Every year I go to Nude Mexico because Albuquerque is my favorite city on earth. But this year my friends took me to what I would describe as an Art Amusement Park in Santa Fe called Meow Wolf. And apparently, that super-beardy, slow-writing Games of Boners writer funded it or something.

Anyway, it was a really fun place.

FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.

There were several wacky metal statues in the parking lot. These are my friends’ kids. They’re not really scared. They’re just “goofin.”

Being the perpetual cynic I am, I thought the art in Meow Wolf would be low art. Meaning, the kind of stuff you see on the bottom of skateboards or in Juxtapose magazine and the like. But…

…there was all kinds of art in there. Art that runs the gamut of low accessible art, stuff hipsters in coffee shops would have tattoos of, to…

…far more complicated art. Like, genuine abstract weirdy stuff. Some of it even unsettling. (not this picture, obviously)

I think this is the main thing that makes Meow Wolf successful, is it has many levels of art all mixed together.

If it was too much high art, it would turn off “regular” folk.

If it was too much low art, it would come across as trying too hard to be “edgy” like Juxtapose magazine does.

But the mix of every kind of art all at once makes for a wonderful and intoxicating experience.

Also, it’s done really well. It’s not cheap or chintzy-looking in any way. Nor does it feel gimmicky.

All the “exhibits” for lack of a better word, are well-constructed with a lot of care and detail to attention.

Another way Meow Wolf impresses is the people who built it used the space in a clever way. It’s in a warehouse, so there’s not that much space, but because everything twists around and is multileveled, it feels huge. And you get to see things you’ve seen before but from a totally different perspective.  This is a top view of the first two pictures posted on in this entry.

Most of the art just seems to be art for art’s sake, but some of it had subtle messaging. Like this “average teenage girl’s room.”

There were posters of teen stars, but none of them had faces–thus symbolizing the vapid nature of the business and interchangeability of pop stars. Not exactly deep stuff, BUT if you’re a teen girl, this message might be quite thought provoking.

It’s also bright! And colorful! And pretty! Can’t get a sense scale in this picture, but this is pretty big. There’s an entire stage in front where bands perform.

And it’s interactive! There are lots of things to touch, play with and plenty of light and sound based art.

And one thing I appreciated, it doesn’t take itself too serious. This is my problem most modern art and why I despise it. It’s pretentious as fuck. And boring. The people who built this did not lose their sense of humor. Or fun.

There’s so much art packed into this place it’s dizzying. You could spend hours and not see it all.

Meow Wolf would be a neat place to smoke a marijauna.

There were also plenty of dioramas! And I fucking love dioramas!

I’m pretty much wrapping up, here, not much more to say.

Oh, one more thing about it I thought was special is that it works so so many levels, kids, adults and super adults (old people) get a kick out of it. Yes, it’s “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.” But it really is. There’s just so much wacky weird fun shit everyone can run around (or walk slowly if you’re a super adult) and have fun. And there are places only kids can fit, so they can run off and escape their parents!

What else can I say? I’m often referred to as the “guy who hates everything” because I tend to hate everything dumb or mediocre and the world is filled with dumb and mediocre. But not Meow Wolf! They did it right. Perfect mix of various levels of art, genius use of space, tons of hidden doodads, even some kind of mystery if you want to try and figure it out.

High five, doods!

Also, when you leave you can get a very convincing reminder on why you should not drink and drive. Don’t drink and drive folks!

Kyoto! And Osaka!

When we went to Osaker, we decided to take a day trip to Kyoto! It’s a lot to see in one day, but we tried! Actually, we pretty much just got drunk and went to Monkey Mountain. Actually, this is the night before we left, still in Osaka. I don’t know what I’m doing.

This is the tourist district that is pretty fakkin cool for a tourist district. Lots of wacky shit to look at and fun restaurants. This may totally suck to Japanese people, but it’s pretty fun for me!

It’s a bar! Based on the James Brown song! We went there, and I’ll blog about that laters!

I love Osaker! The right mix of dingy cheesy old school touristy shit for me. Way better than Shibuya or some super clean spot.

Anywhere that has hilariously giant food is okay by me!

Still not sure what this is. A chair? A ride? Robo fish?

I also don’t remember what this was. Are they trying to scare away little kids? Or confused tourists? Or both?

More things I don’t remember! I think alcohol may have been involved at this point. A lot of alcohol.

Cool moon art! Smoking! This is actually something I would draw. That’s why it caught my eye.

I love the crazy perspective on this sign. Also, the epic old school art style. Plus, the degradation of the sign. It all adds up to make an art!

At a cafe before we went to before our trip. Classy!

From the other side!

And on the menu…

On the train to our train, we met a really nice Japanese lady who was studying English. I helped her with her homework!

Bullet trains look fuckin’ dope. There’s no two ways about it.

This is a town called Arashiyama, which translates to “Storm Mountain.” Look at this, ye olde Japan!

On the way up the mountain to see the monkeys, I spied this neat and mysterious ash tray. I’m guessing it’s some kind of James Bond rip off. I’M GUESSING.

“Don’t fuck with the monkeys!” was a sign theme all the way up the mountain. Especially, DON’T LOOK THEM IN THE EYES! That was on about 20 signs going up the mountain.

And here they are! They have a pretty easy life. All day, they just sleep, shake down tourists for food, pick bugs off each other and KICK THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE WHO LOOK THEM IN THE EYES.

They also fuck! But really fast! I was actually hoping to get some monkey fucking pics, but this blurry one is the best I could do. They’re faster than me!

A monkey shaking me down for food. Which I gave it. There’s probably some funny symbolism about me being in the cage here and the monkey being free. Probably.

Got lucky with some crazy cloud action that day. It was cloudy except for this huge swatch of sunlight which lit up Kyoto like gold. It was beautiful! I mean, not as beautiful as those monkeys fucking, but still, quite a sight!

Don’t do cell phone drugs!!!!

I wonder what this means to a Japanese person? Does it sound cool? Fancy? Forever?

Kyoto has no shortage of temples and shrines! But when it comes down to it, if you’ve seen one shrine, you’ve seen them all. Still, they’re worth a look.

This one’s in a mall!

We randomly found an amazing Osaka bar! I forgot the name! It was really fun! And the music was amazing!

Even their toilet was festive!

We met two super nice girls there that told us about a lazer light show temple or something, so we went!

And there was a crazy 3D Mapping Terrain light show or something. Seemed like everyone in town knew about it. Here’s a video!

That was about it. We went back to Osaka and I drank this Which is REALLY FUCKING GOOD. It’s like alcoholic Squit. Super tasty!

And we watched some Japanese TV teaching people English than passed out.

Next up…the last of Osaka! Then I’ll be done! Woooop!

Bigfoot Bonernanza!

I recently went to an amazing Bigfoot convention/film fest at the historic Balboa Theater called the Bigfoot Bonanza! I had a hairy good time! Naturally, I got insanely drunk, and took a bunch of blurry photos! Here they are!

The “BIGFEET” crew (I’m the one on the right!)

Some fan art I drew of Bigfoot. Technically speaking, we don’t know how big its feet are compared to its body. It might actually have small feet compared to its body size, that would still be big feet to us. Makes ya think!

I made a cardboard bigfoot mask that proved to be the perfect Bigfoot Bonanza accessory! This is my friend Norm wearing it with his hair put in front for a more realistic 3D effect.

I also bought a Yeti toy originally from the Matterhorn ride at Disney Land.

The festival had some ridiculously cute Bigfoot art. This one looks super sad, though. Can’t play the piano getting him down?

They had some great Yeti and bigfoot toys on hand too. Ain’t nobody getting that Tazo tea without a fight!

Bulky!

After watching some amazing Bigfoot shows and docs, we stopped off at the luxurious Hockey Haven bar next door. I put my cardboard BF on the wall and it fit right in. In fact, I forgot it for an hour! When I came back, no one even noticed it was there!

It’s cold where Yeti lives. Despite his thick white fur, he still needs a little something to “warm him up.”

My friend Mark is quite bald, and was also a bit chilly until he found the perfect head warmer! If you don’t mind all the noise, that is.

Back to drankin

Oop! Got too drunk, can’t walk!

Fell into a plant! Actually, this guy is incredibly photogenic. I hope someday to take him into the real snow and do a photo shoot!

Might look something like this!

This was some random dude on the street I asked if he would take a picture with my Yeti! People in SF have been very nice about taking pictures with my toys when I’m drunk. That makes me happy. I wanted to take the pic because of his snow-white goatee! It matches perfectly!

The historic Balboa Theater is really beautiful! If you’re ever in San Francisco, check it out! (The Yeti will not actually be there, though)

Sitting on his Sasquatch cousin’s club

BIGFEET crew looking KOOL!

The moon was nuts that night! Perfect night for Squatchin! (That’s Bigfoot enthusiast slang for “hiding in the bushes and looking for Bigfoots”)

Later I was taking a Sass-Squat in the bathroom and noticed how cool he looked on the hand dryer.

Also looks cool in front of the other Bigfoot’s crotch.

Then it was time to pose for drunken photos with other people’s children! A classic pastime!

The guy holding the Yeti is the madman who organized the whole shebang! Now, that’s the face you make when posing with Bigfoots!

And then we were wasted.

I take some of my best pics drunk, actually. I’m sure longtime readers of this blog are “shocked” to find this out. Anyway, nice moody pic of the theater with Bigfoot out front.

Back to the bar! The cardboard Bigfoot committed too many crimes and had to go to jail!

And the night was coming to a close. It was one of the record books. I don’t know what record books. Drunken Bigfoot Convention record books?

In the same pic!

And that’s all she wrote!

(until next year…)

Osaka! Day One!

I went to Osaka, like years ago and never got around to blarging because I’m super lame! Here are some long overdue pics from that adventure!

Japanese selfie stick warnings don’t fuck around!

The first place we stopped off the train was…Hooters! Osaka Hooters!

And it was just as cheesy and terrible as an American Hooters! In fact, it looked exactly the same!

Minor differences on the menu (Flapper Teasers are more expensive here)

After that it was off to the big tourist district for some Funassy!

The rainy night view from our room had the perfect grungy feel to it.

And the downtown touristy area had that dope Blade Runner feel! Wake up…time to die!

There’s also a beautiful river that runs through the area that looks amazing at night.

Walking around we found this monkey in front of a bar. If there’s a monkey in front of a bar, I will always go in!

It was a super old bar that had weapons from back in the day that they really used to use on people. I asked the guy what it was, but my Japanese is pretty bad, I think he called it an “Ass grabbling blood reamer” or something.

There were also ninjers around in case any patrons got rowdy (we didn’t!)

It was really nice inside. We went there 3 times!

Did not take us long to find a Don Quijote! The single greatest Japanese contribution to mankind! The front of the store was nuts! That’s a 100-foot tall amusement park ride!

But before you go into a Don Quijote, it is best to get drunk out of your fucking mind.

If you’ve never been to a Don Quijote, it looks like this…but with more stuff. Way more stuff.

Their mascot is an adorable little penguin named “Donpen.” He’s everywhere! Specifically drawings and paintings of him done by hand! Original to every different store. That in and of itself is amazing to me. There must be a team of drawers that go from store to store making art!

Don Quijote has many mysterious things, especially if you can’t read Japanese!

Painted Donpen art. He looks pretty fly in his fundoshi!

This is kind of cheating since it’s computer generated. BTW, Japan loves Christmas more than America. It is fakkin nutso over there around this time. I think they like people to buy stuff. Lots and lots and lots of stuff!

Not sure how this ties into Christmas, but probably makes sense to the average Don Quijote shopper!

Japan is the undisputed world champ of crazy underwear. This guy lost a googly eye!

This is very clever actually! Probably will help you get laid. Or at least pretend you are.

I think these are lights. For when you’re in a cave and you need light or something.

Black Man is a brand of underwear. Not targeted at black men, though. And this guy does not look like he’s cooling down at all!

I love the realistic art of this old lady being blown around!

I think this is to shut your kid up or something.

Donpen has a sexy girlfriend that can be seen throughout the stores, too. Or that’s actually Donpen in drag. I do not know.

Need some more shit? There’s like 5 more floors of it!

Another area Japan is beating us is in funny wig technology.

Men need stockings too, okay.

She can show you how.

There is no such thing as overdoing it in Japan.

The true meaning of Christmas…cheap, funny gifts!!!


Don’t take it personal, Blacky.

That was day one of Osaker! Day two coming up! Seriously, this time! Now that I’ve moved my blog to here, I am committed to weekly updates! Yerp!

 

Little Mermaid Christmas!

One of my many useless hobbies is getting drunk and taking pictures of toys. I took my Little Mermaid Christmas doll to the beach!

20161222_140445

She is a beauty! Made for the beach!

20161222_141807

Enjoying the cool winter rays!

20161222_142819

So much fun!

20161222_143009

Many people don’t know, but at the end of the original Little Mermaid fairy tale, she did not get the prince. She died and became sea foam! Like this!

20161222_143254

Some mermaids got it, some don’t!

20161222_145024

Bright young women…sick of swimin’

20161222_145234

Someone else on the beach was getting into the Christmas spirit!

20161222_151646

I think Marilyn Monroe did a very similar photo shoot.

20161222_151944

But I don’t think hers ended like this…(or maybe it did!)

20161222_152253

But nothing a quick bath in the public restroom sink won’t fix.

20161222_154232

Followed by a warm blow dry from the hand dryer. Her tail made the most delightful “FWWWWPPPP”ing noise!

20161222_154318

All cleaned up and ready for a night on the town!

20161222_155548

She can drink a lot!

20161222_160639

Then it’s time for some drunken reflection…

20161222_164718

Maybe take in some art…

20161222_172043

Yep, she’s trashed!

20161222_172243

Haha! Anyway, it was quite a day and we had a lot of fun. Merry Christmas, y’all!

20161222_221117

 

 

 

An Afternoon With Shai-Hulud

Dune's my favorite movie! And my favorite book! So people give me Dune toys and one of my favorites is my giant Sandworm. He's like 9 inches long! And super thick! Anyway, I got drunk, took him different places and took pictures. Here they are! 

20160901_172301

My Dune worm kinda has a drinking problem. 

20160901_172425

And by kinda, I mean totally…

20160901_174447

I took him camping. BTW, it's harder than you think to get a dog to pose with a Dune worm. 

20160903_134222

Babies are no problem, tho

20160903_141256

Did you know Dune worms can swim? They can't! Water is actually poisonous to them! 

20160903_141849

After "Duney," my nickname for him, gets drunk he kinda gets douchey. 

20160903_142101

Then he wants to sing! He's actually pretty good. Kinda has a Tom Waits gravely voice. 

20160903_170733

Then he got super high! 

20160903_172316

But eventually came down to earth. 

20160903_192830

Later that night…things got weird…

20160903_201450

Although this is not a Sandworm's natural setting, Duney looks very photogenic here. 

20160904_155734

He also looks pretty photogenic here! 

20160904_163210

To a dog, there's probably not much difference between a stick and a Dune worm toy. 

20160904_164756

Howling at the moon. 

20160904_200853

Telling scary stories by the fire. 

20160904_205503

After the camping trip, I took Duney to the beach! Which is much closer to his natural habitat. 

20160918_160756

It looks just like the movie! 

20160918_160817

Again, don't try this with a real Sandworm. Duney is a specially trained worm that knows to avoid the water, which would kill him instantly. 

20160918_161011

Duney got drunk and demanded I took a picture of him pretending to eat this girl's butt. 

20160918_162319

He looks pretty good half buried in the sand. 

20160918_164256

Or majestically posing on a rock.  

20160918_164404

I know what you're thinking…"Is this real?!"  

20160918_164727

Then it all went to shit when he started drinking again. 

20160918_175135_001

Say what you will, but Duney's a looker! That's for sure! 

20160918_190458