CRAZY SHIT FROM JAPAN (also known as Don Quijote!)

A store that has everything–literally! It's not much of an exaggeration and I'm afraid there's not fucking way in hell I could possibly do the store justice, but I must try! It is my favorite place in Japan to buy dirty underwear, groceries, beauty products, booty products, watches, jewelry, make up, dildos, cleaning products, statues, luggage, bikes, maid outfits, costumes, vacuum cleaners, and a million other things–all within 5 vertical Star Bucks sized floors. Basically a super condensed dirty Walmart. But don't take my words for it look at this!

This is what it feels like to shop there…

Japandies 1177

Ha! He's their mascot. A really cute penguin thing they hand draw signs of and put all over their stores. Some of them are really badass!

Japandies 1380

Hell's yeah, life is a money! And money is exactly what you'll spend there (lots of it) when you turn a corner and see this! 

Japannewcamera 056

And this!

Japannewcamera 067

And this!

Japannewcamera 060

And this!

Japannewcamera 066

And this!

Japannewcamera 055

And it goes on and fucking on! And you can buy important things there like Oily Bargel!

Japandies 1150

And uh…

 Japannewcamera 059

Or a very useful calorie breath device which has clearly worked on her.

Japannewcamera 068

Shit your panties and need new ones, but can't quite make it all the way into the store? I know, it happens all the time! Use the handy Panty Machine!

Japannewcamera 034

And whilst your there, stick your arm in the "cardboard box of mysteries" and see what happens!

Japannewcamera 033

And then buy some of this!

Japannewcamera 073

And this!

Japannewcamera 075

And then get some smushies!

Japannewcamera 074

So cute…and smushed!

Japannewcamera 041

And then head over and pick up a cool one-eyed ski mask. How sexy is this?

Japannewcamera 045

Then get some

Japannewcamera 051

And in honor of black history month, let's buy some tasteful African American masks from Japan!

Japannewcamera 047

Michael Jackson! (bit blurry!)

Japannewcamera 046

And Michael Jackson!

Japanoldcamera 109

Fuck! Sorry about that, that's ahh…ahh…ahh…here's more Michael Jackson!

Japanoldcamera 117

And then…

Japanoldcamera 124

AND! That's actually not Michael Jackson. It's a washed up alcoholic boxer from the slums. I <3 him!

Japanoldcamera 125

And now on to Michael Obama! Err…Michelle Obama! (he's holding on tight!)

Japanoldcamera 127

Now doesn't she look pretty! Oddly enough, this was nowhere near Halloween, a holiday Japanese don't even really celebrate. These were just in the store to buy–whenever!

Japanoldcamera 128

And here's her lover–Barrack Obomber! Oh yes we can, draw a face good and a bad hand!

Japannewcamera 049

Now on to more important purchases…like this!

Japannewcamera 058

And this!

Japannewcamera 053

Pick up a very blurry GodFinger! It's the real finger God actually uses!

Japannewcamera 062

And then buy some!

Japanoldcamera 303

I did!

Japanoldcamera 534

It's time to wind down! Here is one of the more confusing things I found in Japan. Mantys. Or Man with a Camel-tow-ees! I dunno what the ding-dong (or lack of) this is!

Japanoldcamera 739

This is called a "Don Quijote Hangover." Also known as TOO MUCH SHIT!!!!!

Japannewcamera 114

But you know what? I've dealt with this before! Throw away your socks or less favorite underwear! Put your weird thigh-panty-stuffed thing in your backpack and cram, cram, cram! Like this!

Japannewcamera 113

I meant this! (seriously nerds, learn from the master of stuffing shit where it don't fit – dat's me!)

Japannewcamera 119

And with one of my long
est blargs lately! I'll leave you with one of my favorite pics from Japan called–Buck Owens' gettin' some puss-say! Lates!

Japanoldcamera 527

5 thoughts on “CRAZY SHIT FROM JAPAN (also known as Don Quijote!)

Comments are closed.