A store that has everything–literally! It's not much of an exaggeration and I'm afraid there's not fucking way in hell I could possibly do the store justice, but I must try! It is my favorite place in Japan to buy dirty underwear, groceries, beauty products, booty products, watches, jewelry, make up, dildos, cleaning products, statues, luggage, bikes, maid outfits, costumes, vacuum cleaners, and a million other things–all within 5 vertical Star Bucks sized floors. Basically a super condensed dirty Walmart. But don't take my words for it look at this!
This is what it feels like to shop there…
Ha! He's their mascot. A really cute penguin thing they hand draw signs of and put all over their stores. Some of them are really badass!
Hell's yeah, life is a money! And money is exactly what you'll spend there (lots of it) when you turn a corner and see this!
And it goes on and fucking on! And you can buy important things there like Oily Bargel!
Or a very useful calorie breath device which has clearly worked on her.
Shit your panties and need new ones, but can't quite make it all the way into the store? I know, it happens all the time! Use the handy Panty Machine!
And whilst your there, stick your arm in the "cardboard box of mysteries" and see what happens!
And then buy some of this!
And then get some smushies!
So cute…and smushed!
And then head over and pick up a cool one-eyed ski mask. How sexy is this?
Then get some
And in honor of black history month, let's buy some tasteful African American masks from Japan!
Michael Jackson! (bit blurry!)
And Michael Jackson!
Fuck! Sorry about that, that's ahh…ahh…ahh…here's more Michael Jackson!
AND! That's actually not Michael Jackson. It's a washed up alcoholic boxer from the slums. I <3 him!
And now on to Michael Obama! Err…Michelle Obama! (he's holding on tight!)
Now doesn't she look pretty! Oddly enough, this was nowhere near Halloween, a holiday Japanese don't even really celebrate. These were just in the store to buy–whenever!
And here's her lover–Barrack Obomber! Oh yes we can, draw a face good and a bad hand!
Now on to more important purchases…like this!
Pick up a very blurry GodFinger! It's the real finger God actually uses!
And then buy some!
It's time to wind down! Here is one of the more confusing things I found in Japan. Mantys. Or Man with a Camel-tow-ees! I dunno what the ding-dong (or lack of) this is!
This is called a "Don Quijote Hangover." Also known as TOO MUCH SHIT!!!!!
But you know what? I've dealt with this before! Throw away your socks or less favorite underwear! Put your weird thigh-panty-stuffed thing in your backpack and cram, cram, cram! Like this!
I meant this! (seriously nerds, learn from the master of stuffing shit where it don't fit – dat's me!)
And with one of my long
est blargs lately! I'll leave you with one of my favorite pics from Japan called–Buck Owens' gettin' some puss-say! Lates!