Camping with Blanka!

I went camping! And I took my giant Street Fighter Blanka action figure. I thought his monstrous looks would make sense out in the woods. It exceeded my expectations. He may be the most photogenic toy I’ve worked with. Here’s the pics!

Blanka doesn’t really need a giant knife, but he can hold one if need be.

Look at this happy camper!

I was trying to pose him in a way that made it seem like he was a wild animal and this was his natural surroundings. This is probably as close as I could get. He’s actually from the South American jungles, so he would blend in way better there.

If you’re wondering, yes, his pants are always undone. It’s a cool Blanka thing, you probably wouldn’t understand.

Blanka’s a little wild as he’s demonstrating here with his erotic pole dancing.

He also looks great with cars, specifically orange Elements. If you have an orange Element, you must get a Blanka doll.

Shot from behind. Not everyone knows, but Blanka has a tramp stamp! I love the way the sun is catching his hair, here. If you look closely, you can see a gaffe–the photographer’s reflection is in the mirror!

Later that day, it was time to hit the beach!

It was literally 106 degrees that day, so the water calmed his beastly spirit.

Ahhhhhhh…

His hair always looks amazing, but especially after it’s gotten wet.

Then a little “drinkie-poo.”

Being buried in the sand is something all Street Fighters enjoy.

As well as relaxing on a floaty.

You know what makes ya hungry? Swimmin!

Time to get dolled up…

And head to the BIG LUAU!

You might be surprised to learn, but Blanka is really good with kids!

He’s also a great lookout, due to his jungle tree climbing skills.

One thing he’s not good at is controlling his alcoholism. He has a drinking problem. Here’s his friend Russell “The Man Muscle” enabling him.

It’s not easy being a monster due to scientific experimentation by a shadowy overlord. It does things to a fella…

People, and monsters, with emotional problems, often turn to food and liquor…

Then the night comes and….LOOK OUT!

NIGHTTIME PARTY BLANKA!!!

MUST RAGE! CAN NOT BE IN CAGE!

BUT CAN GET DRUNK AND GO ON STAGE!

OR GET BLASTED AND TALK TO THE TIKI SAGE!

THEN CALM DOWN AN TALK TO PRETTY GIRL, IF SHE IS RIGHT AGE.

YRWWWRRRAAAAWWWWGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Then the next day, you wake up and act like nothing weird happened.

And that’s “Camping With Blanka.”

 

 

 

Harpy Halloween!

As a gruesome guy with an insatiable thirst for horror movies, it’s no surprise Halloween is my favorite holiday. It’s the only time of year regular folk get interested in the stuff I love all all the time. I took a trip to Detroit and saw a buncha cool Halloween shit, so here it is!

This is at my friend’s house. It’s not for Halloween, these skulls are in the tree’s roots all year round. How cool is that!

She also has these scary crying black tears satanic looking rabbits in the back yard.

This was on the fridge to welcome me when I visited. It was so sweet, I almost cried.

This was a liquor store by my friend’s house. I call it the “Halloweenmobile.”

This was an incredible Halloween display on some lady’s lawn. It’s one of the most impressive works of Halloween art I’ve ever seen.

The twins were my favorite. Sexy

There was so much detail and crazy shit everywhere, it’s hard to capture all of it.

She must have spent a lot of time in thrift stores!

It really came to life a night, though.

I think this demonic baby may have been born out of wedlock.

Just the money on bridal dresses would be a ton. These are cool dresses, too!

A whole yard of gruesome undead brides.

The lady was really nice, too. We talked to her for awhile about her love of Halloween.

These were the pumpkins we cared. Mine’s the sad one on the right.

I like the way this picture came out all jacked up looking. Reminds me of the stuff you’d occasionally get with real film.

This was from a town called “Northville,” I think. It’s a real regular looking American town until Halloween, when they have the “Skeletons Are Alive” display where businesses put up wacky skeletons all over town. It’s amazing!

Robbing a bank!

I’d definitely watch more hockey if skeletons were playing it.

Playing Twister!

I love the way his bony hand is wrapped around the guitar!

This wasn’t a skeleton, but I was moved by how much it looked like this mannequin was creaming in her jeans.

Speaking of creaming her jeans, look at the angle of this pervy skeleton photographer. Think he was getting a “boner” from this?

There’s something extra creepy about a Wonder Woman skeleton.

Batman skeleton seems normal.

I think she’s supposed to be excited by being proposed to, but it looks like she’s horrified. Cool move proposing with sunglasses on, I’d probably do that.

Not sure what the theme her is, but the display is rad.

Especially the gross stuff on the table.

This selfie one was genius. People have literally died taking selfies. Not smart people, but people just the same.

Somebody bought an entire horse skeleton! Didn’t even know they had those.

Real life cheerleaders don’t do a damn thing for me, but skeleton cheerleaders, that’s hot.

This rioting sledgehammer skeleton was about to break some shit up!

Getting her hairs done by a giant bony spider! For the record, spiders do not have bones, they have an exoskeleton. Could be a demonic spider though, they may have bones.

Skeleton dog walker! Does he give the dogs a bone? Do bony dogs like bones? So many questions!

This was in a random window. I LOVE the look on his face, it’s hilarious to me for some reason.

This skull jumped out at me too. Not literally, although that would have been really cool. His giant eyes are what getcha.

Exercise and losing weight is good, but too much and you’ll end up like this!

I like it when the skeletons are things people actually die from doing.

The creepiest ones are the ones of people doing normal stuff.

These aren’t skeletons, there just a bunch of evil cats, but they look cool.

This guy’s caught a bone fish!

Karate guy!

Mama Mia!

This one is cool, because Audrey Hepburn probably is a skeleton by now.

This was at a church, still not sure of the concept. She’s a jumper? They’re trying to talk her down? What’s the dog for?

That’s all the cool ones from Northville’s Skeletons Are Alive. If you’re ever in Northville near Halloween, go check it out, it’s hilarious!

This is a crappy drawing I did of Vincent Price.

Here’s my buddy, Pretty Sammy. We like to get drunk and goof in the Walgreen’s Halloween section.

This was a spooky cage I found on the street. I wonder what was in there?!

I love Pumpkinhead. I even have a shirt! And I decided to draw it on a pumpkin while wearing pumpkin glasses. Try and out-Halloween this picture, suckas!

This is from a weed clinic by where I work. Dress up in a costume and get some free weed! How California is that?!

This is from a movie I’m developing with Spielberg. It’s called “Ghost Potato.” It’s about a ghost potato.

This is a pic with my roommate and the famous ghost potato from the hit movie, “Ghost Potato.”

Happy Halloween, y’all!

 

 

 

 

 

New York Comic Con 2017

I went to New York Comic Con, got super drunk and took a bunch of pictures. Shocker! Here they are!

There’s just something magical about a little baby zombie with blood on his face sucking on a knife. Adorable!

She was really fun. I called her, “Spider Ma’am”

This guy’s got the spirit! He was totally blind and in a wheelchair, but having a blast!

Cone heads! And Picard, who is kind of a cone head.

Simple, but very clever idea!

My costume this year was the “Green Horny.” One thing NYCC has over SDCC is they serve beer in the con! It’s amazing! Usually, I’m the drunkest guy on the floor, but not this year!

There’s something magical about little kid slasher movie cosplay. It warms my heart!

I don’t know what a Congo Reading entails, but it looks painful!

This was a really cool old beer promo for a beer that no long exists. I kinda looked like a dirty old fish tank.

This was at the Continental Bar in New York. You can get five shots for $10! But the guy who owns it doesn’t fuck around as this sign demonstrates.

Drinking at comic book conventions is a lot like this.

I don’t know who the fudge this guy is, but he looks hilarious! He almost became my con buddy, but another one stole my heart.

The cut off hands were a nice touch!

Vampirella cosplay! You don’t see this often, for obvious reasons.

Rammmmmboooooooooo!!!!!! The world needs more Rambo cosplayers than ever these days. Glad someone answered the call.

Swamp Thing car! Where the fuck does he have to drive to?

Someday, I’m gonna find one of these Dune Spice Scout cars and buy it. Then I’ll be a very happy little boy. Imagine picking your date up in one of these!

Perfect Trick or Treat cosplay. Pro level.

Garfield made a comeback! I’m so happy to see all the crazy Garfield stuff out there.

Super beardy smurfette!

This was the con buddy I did end up getting! I couldn’t resist his weird little arms. The guys make fun of his arms, but the girls don’t.

Beautiful Skeletor and Evelyn!

I’m a Lobo fan for some reason and this is a really good one. Con buddy looks really happy!

If you haven’t gotten drunk and partied with Rainbow Bright, you haven’t lived!

I’ve dreamed of going as Ogre to a comic book convention and running around screaming “NERDS!!!” but this guy actually did it.

Remember when Kirk ran around speaking into an acorn?

Superman from the 50s TV show! Genius!

Literally the best Conan I have ever seen in my life. Guyliner and all!

Traditionally, I make my con buddy pose with beer and it’s a big funny. But his sad little snake arms wouldn’t hold on to the glass!

He had no problem with the giant sausage, tho.

Haha, he was pretty drunk at this point.

Then he fucked a pumpkin with his weird little arm! I’ve done that!

Then we stumbled into the legendary Sardies! It’s full of amazing caricatures of world renowned performers like Donny and Marie Osmond!

You don’t see a lot of Martian Manhunter cosplay, but this guy nailed it!

You also don’t see a lot of Swamp Thing, mainly because it’s so hard to do. He didn’t have his cool car with him. He did have a beer, tho

Q from the first ep of Star Trek the Next Generation. Sweet!

Another comic I bought. I just love the Sub/Dom feel of the cover. Hope this happens in the next movie.

Last pic: This guy should win the NYCC best cosplay award for ALL TIME! He’s cosplaying as the Javitz Center, the place the convention takes place! Hahaha!

And Ugly Planet, a Bug Planet. Starship Troopers Photo Shoot!

Hey, I went camping and took my Starship Troopers arachnid bug and took photos of it. Here they are!

The little bugger was very photogenic. And because of its markings, it blended into some backgrounds really well.

Trying to snack on that horse!

Hrm…this guy looks familiar…

The combo of sand and rock really makes it look like it’s straight out of the movie.

Looked okay by some plants, provided they were small enough.

It also looked neat with the water in the background, although that doesn’t happen in the movie. Although they do mention Zegema Beach, so this is possible.

Looks cool on a log too, but most bugs do,

Blagh! By some muck!

These could be the guts of some alien creature!

The different color rocks really made its racing stripes come out.

The mix of sand and hard rock looks great. Cool mix of textures.

This is the money shot, though. Best pic I took!

For not really having a face, the arachnid was quite photogenic.

Fun day at the beach! Although I wish I would have brought little Gi-Joes to put in its mouth.

Beerski! The only good bug is a drunk bug!

That’s it! I’ll definitely take this killing machine out at some point in the future.

My San Deigo Comic-Con Adventures! Part 2!

The continuing adventures of The Pink Stink (me) and my con buddy, Captain Marvel!

Always happy to see a Kato costume. I think of the coolest and most underrated superhero costumes of all time.

Show me on the doll, where he touched the doll. This finger belongs to the super nice lady who made the Comic-Con bingo from the last entry!

One of my fav things at Comic-Con is how the local stores get in on the action. And one of the best stores for this is Ralph’s in the Gaslamp. It’s actually a great grocery story all around. If you ever go to Comic-Con, great spot to get cheap foods!

I like this display because it looked like Yoda was gonna kick my ass if I bought these pretzels.

More fun than a barrel of Deadpools! Or one very buff and stiff Deadpool!

Gotta guard these veggies from Rebel Scum! Actually, at Comic-Con, you don’t need to guard the veggies, nobody’s eatin’ that shit.

This guy’s nuts! Now if this don’t make you want to buy pistachios nothing will! I will give Ralph’s cred for having a sense of humor about it. The person who made this obviously know how ridic it looked.

Want some flowers? You’ll have to get by these guys, first!

Drunk Man!

They put Wonder Woman by the wine, which is probably sexist.

I got drunk and made bad food choices…

The next day, I saw one of the best Lex Luthor’s I’ve ever seen!

And a great Static Shock! Right down to the shoes!

One of the best Costco employees wearing a Garfield mask I’ve ever seen! I looooovvveee this mask! It was my FB profile for awhile.

Super baby’s not having it! I told her she should dress him up as Lex Luthor next year. I hope she does!

This guy is amazing! He’s a real lawyer and his card said, “Lawyer For Hire.” Ha! (If you don’t know, the old Luke Cage and Iron Fist comic was called “Heroes For Hire.”) Sweet yellow shoes, too!

Perfect sized Kingpin. Now we know how he makes his money…selling comics!

Zardoz!!!!!! The guy’s hair and stache really took this Zardoz cosplay to the next level. LOVE IT!

I don’t know what this poor girl’s afflictions were, but she wasn’t letting it hold her down! Pretty good puppetry, too.

Stylish Joker! When you’ve seen as many Jokers as I have, the ones with a little creativity are greatly appreciated.

Captain America frozen in the ice! Now that’s some creativity and dedication! Super hard to walk in that thing.

I seriously need this hat for job interviews.

Whoop! Guess who’s getting drunk again! Big ballin’!

Whoop! Got a little too drunk!

Get wasted and jump in the fountain! That’s my motto, too!

 

I’m pretty much over Star Wars, but I do have soft spot for Lando cosplayers. I’ll always love Lando. The O.G. space pimp!

Literally, one of THE best Vulcan cosplayers I’ve ever seen. The eyebrows seal the deal!

I’ve done a little cardboard cosplay in my day, so I’m gotta give these guys cred on these shells. Not bad!

I was drunk and it took me about 6 seconds to understand what this was. The dog seemed pretty happy. Almost like it saw everyone dressed up and thought, “I’m one of them! I’m a human!”

For better or worse (probably worse), I happen to look a lot like Guy Fieri. So I just about died when I saw this cosplay! Genius!

This is not where jalapeno cheese hot dogs go, btw

I gotta say, each year it gets harder to put a garbage bag full of terrible food and beer in my stomach. But I still do it!

To be honest, a lot of nerd humor is fucking terrible. But I’ll give this guy a pass. Good look on his face, too!

The Colt 45 is a nice touch!

I like it when cosplayers get wacky with their outfits. Why not! He looks so happy, too!

You don’t have to wear a costume to get in on the action, just be clever!

A classy Joker! Nicely done!

Not a lot of Dr. Fate cosplayers, nice choice! Although his head will always look like a condom to me.

My favorite Lando at the show!

I hate Nova. Yet, I took a picture of this cosplayer. Why? Cuz it’s the best Nova I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen a lot. That helmet is dumb!

This guy was complaining that people thought he was a Klansman instead of Moon Knight. Can’t they see the moon on his head? DUH!

One of my favorite real life con buddies, Mike Bennet from BennettBlackLight.net! He was a storyboarder for the Smurfs back in the day and has an incredible imagination. He sells suitcases, yes suitcases (old 70’s ones) full of his incredible art. It’s like you took Jack Kirby, 50s Sci-Fi, monster movies, the Old West, super heroes and Russ Meyers movies and put them in a blender. That’s his art style! He’s a crack up to talk to, too! Chat him up at the con if you see him!

Glad to see some of the youth of America is keeping the dream of the great Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High alive!

This guy is not letting his disability or injury keep his spirits down. Nice work! And super funny!

A promotional still from the new TV show

One of the weird things this year is you had to tag your badges to get in and there was a super gross zombie face right where you bent down, so it looked like you were kissing it every time. Well, I did actually kiss it a few times.

Almost done! Can’t omit the best Simpsons cosplay ever done.

And that is my SDCC 2017! Great year, overall! Met rad people, bought great comics, drank and partied and had a gay old time!

See you next year! (Unless I eat too many jalapeno cheese hot dog things and die)

 

 

My San Deigo Comic-Con Adventures! Part 1!

 

Hey, I went to Comic-Con, drank a bunch of beer and ran around like a nutter taking pictures of stupid shit. Like I do every year! Weerp!

This is me a rare Passion of the Christ cosplayer. Sweet Jesus, cosplay! I laughed my head off when he told me who he was. My character this year was the “Pink Stink!” Look out, bad guys!

I’m not a big fan of Steam Punk, but I accept it as part of the nerd culture and I can appreciate some of the more extravagant costumes like this one. This is some amazing craftsmanship. He looks like a steam punk Cobra Commander!

As per my usual Comic-Con M.O., I buy a wacky action figure, my “con buddy” and take lots of nutty photos with it. This year, I got a good’n–Captain Marvel! The second Captain Marvel, actually, the first had a wacky green head dress with a fin. Or something. Also, he is in no way associated with DC’s Captain Marvel. This is Marvel’s Captain Marvel but the second one before he was turned into a girl. Got all that?

He looked really cute just about anywhere you put him!

I love old school nerds. Technically, I’m an old school nerd at this point, but I mean the generations that came before me. I respect them and love talking to them. They tend to actually know their shit and can talk about more than Star Wars or wutever Marvel movie is popular that week. There is just something earnest about them I don’t find it today’s “everybody’s a nerd” world.

This is a worm! Pillow! Paramecian? Anyway, it’s from Dark Souls and I told the guy selling it to “Make a sexy face.” Which he laughed and did! Not bad!

Heyo! This actually kinda looks like a Jack Kirby pose! I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Captain America do this a few times!

I thought this was pretty funny at the time. Drink seven beers then look at it and tell me if it’s funny. Plz.

This guy was so fun to photograph! He was the perfect size for the camera and just poseable enough to get some wacky pics.

I found the neon sign at this Thai spa to be rather beautiful. Plus, sugaring! That sounds fun!

You know what else is fun? Action figure banana pics!

Look out, super ladies! (I ate that banana, btw, just so you know)

Sadly, these days fans don’t have a fucking clue who Captain Marvel is anymore! He’s one of Marvel’s best “cosmic heroes” meaning, the people who wrote him were probably wicked high. His power is Cosmic Awareness, how 70’s hippy-dippy is that! My friend turned me on to The Life of Captain Marvel and the Death of Captain Marvel and they blew me away. He died of cancer!!! Like died, died! I told this story to about 500 people at the con!

He does look like Warlock, tho. They get their hair done at the same place!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The great Captain Splauding from House of 1,000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects. I’m always happy to see this cosplayed, I love those movies. And I love Sid Hag! The actor who plays him is an amazing character actor who often plays bad guys or killers cuz he looks mean. I met him at Comic-Con once! I asked if I could hug him and he let me!

Dear Marvel Universe, Iron Man is not as cool as you think. He’s okay, but there are way better heroes–like Captain Marvel, for example!

Did you know there’s a secret area at Comic-Con where you can overlook the floor and take cool photos? It’s on the Mezzanine level, where all the super, super nerdy shit is, like the Klingon Lifestyle Society, Legion of Super Heros fan club, and more. That’s also where you’ll find the SCA (Society For Creative Anacnarism) an old school semi-larping society where they dress in real armor and have huge battles. Like, they really fight. It’s not quite larping because there aren’t magic powers and bullshit, but they do get to make up their own character and history so I could classify it as “semi-larping.” I went to one of their events in 1992! It was fun!

Lockjaw! I have always loved Lockjaw! How many giant adorable sentient interdimensional teleporter dogs are there? Jack Kirby design, of course! Apparently, they’ve made an Inhumans show. Sad to say, it looked super boring by the pictures I saw.

Another masterful Kirby design–Dr. Doom! Also one of Marvel’s all time coolest villains. Shame about those FF movies!

Pespsi Man! Another one of Jack Kirby’s masterful creations. Haha, just kidding! This a Japanese superhero devised to sell Pepsi! Sure makes me wanna buy one! (not sure if those are regulation Pepsi Man shoes, tho)

A rare Guinan cosplay! But with blackface, folks, don’t do blackface. You don’t need to. Everybody can tell you’re Guinan by the outfit. I did not tell her this, but I think someone may have. She seemed a little shy to take the pic. Live and learn!

The Wonder Women were out if force this year! I’m a fan of the TV show and character, but these girls defintely nailed the movie look. Strong women!

This Megatron ruled!!! He was at least 8 feet tall! And he had the voice changer and everything. Sadly, I overheard a couple of dude bro attendees ask “Who’s that?” There should be a basic test to get into Comic-Con. If you don’t know who Megatron is, you should be banned. But only for a year, so you can study and learn a little bit about nerd culture before attending a massive celebration of nerd culture. Not saying you have to have read all nine Larry Niven Ringworld books, but you should at least know the basics.

Rooby-rooby-rooooooooo! Ha! I’m a sucker for Scooby-Doo cosplay and this one is amazing. Shaggy even had a real goatee!

Are these Hobbit feet sexy? Yes or no, no “maybe.”

Some pro-level cosplay right here! The body, the effects, everything looked amazing. Nice jarb!

Obligatory con buddy with a beer pic!

I’m also a sucker for realistic looking Star Trek cosplay and this guy could easily pass for a real life vulcan.

I’ll end this entry on something I thought was hilarious! I met a very funny couple at the bar, which the best part of Comic-Con is often meeting random people at the bar and talking up your adventures that day, I’ve met some amazing people that way. Anyway, this lady made her own Comic-Con bingo! And if you been to SDCC or any other con, you’ll get a laugh out of her categories, they’re genius! Enjoy!

 

E3 2017 and Anime Expo 2017

Hey, I went to E3 and Anime Expo like I do every year and took photos of stupid stuff. Like I do!

The only way this picture could be better is if it was across from a kindergarten.

I took two con buddies to E3 this year! Diddy Kong and banana with sunglasses!

Me doing some live commentary from the show.

I met these twins like five different times during the show. We’re friends!

If you wear this shirt, you definitely gotta make this face. The “Yeah, I was at E3 2017” face. My friend is really good at it!

More E3 collector’s items from the show. Although, can hand sanitizer really be a collector’s item? It’s kinda sweaty.

Unfortunately, Ultron did not accept my tribute of a giant banana (with sunglasses).

The dragon ate it, though…

Later that night at the liquor store by our hotel room, we found some hilarious condom jokes! I bought the small ones (for a friend).

This banana was exceptionally photogenic. He looked cute everywhere!

Everything is just funnier with giant banana going in its mouth.

I normally don’t make this gooney of a smile. There have to be very specific circumstances to make this happen.

Doing a little business on the show floor with my business partner. (The guy who owns that “Yeah, I was at E3” shirt)

I met Koji Igarashi, the creator of Castlevania! He’s an eccentric dude who always wears a leather cowboy hat and carries a whip! I can appreciate a man who likes dressing up in cool outfits.

Banana in a cup!

Monkey in a cup!

The classic E3 meal–the street cooked bacon wrapped hotdogs.

The whole family in one pic!

You know what’s cute? A stuffed monkey climbing a palm tree!

And hiding in bushes!

Back to the hotel room! I actually left this out there for hours by accident and nobody stold it!

The joke writes itself.

Later I went shopping and debuted My New L.A. Look! People can’t stop talking about it!

This is definitely the frozen yogurt Wonder Woman would eat. There’s no doubt about it!

Travel tip: get drunk, draw funny eyes on the hotel room cup covers and YOU GOT YOURSELF A PARTY.

L.A. is so glamorous. You can’t find hot new looks like these in other places.

Establishing photo. I should have put this at the top.

That pirate did not think my banana was funny. At all.

If you’ve never been to E3, there are a lot of big TVs showing really boring, similar looking white guys with grey hair saying highly scripted things to no one in particular. Do these guys look like they make fun games?

And that was it for E3.

Hey, I also went to Anime Expo! This is an anime fan I can respect. He is totally upfront about what he likes. I respect that! Be proud!

Speaking of proud! I met the real Batman!

I don’t know what anime this was for. Bunwarmers? I will say, it was a great eye grabber!

The same booth was selling weed pants. Anime fans love weed pants!

I took this guy’s pic last year! He was dressed as a Star Trek guy, but carrying the same doll. That’s how I recognized him. He really loves that doll!

Not an anime, but a great Dick Tracy cosplay!

Best cosplay at the con! I love how dirty and run down the towel looks. I’m assuming the duffel bag is full of weed.

Second best cosplayer! I know Michael loved anime, but I think he died before he could be in one 🙁

And that’s my big E3/Anime Expo post!

 

 

Meow Wolf in Nude Mexico!

Every year I go to Nude Mexico because Albuquerque is my favorite city on earth. But this year my friends took me to what I would describe as an Art Amusement Park in Santa Fe called Meow Wolf. And apparently, that super-beardy, slow-writing Games of Boners writer funded it or something.

Anyway, it was a really fun place.

FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.

There were several wacky metal statues in the parking lot. These are my friends’ kids. They’re not really scared. They’re just “goofin.”

Being the perpetual cynic I am, I thought the art in Meow Wolf would be low art. Meaning, the kind of stuff you see on the bottom of skateboards or in Juxtapose magazine and the like. But…

…there was all kinds of art in there. Art that runs the gamut of low accessible art, stuff hipsters in coffee shops would have tattoos of, to…

…far more complicated art. Like, genuine abstract weirdy stuff. Some of it even unsettling. (not this picture, obviously)

I think this is the main thing that makes Meow Wolf successful, is it has many levels of art all mixed together.

If it was too much high art, it would turn off “regular” folk.

If it was too much low art, it would come across as trying too hard to be “edgy” like Juxtapose magazine does.

But the mix of every kind of art all at once makes for a wonderful and intoxicating experience.

Also, it’s done really well. It’s not cheap or chintzy-looking in any way. Nor does it feel gimmicky.

All the “exhibits” for lack of a better word, are well-constructed with a lot of care and detail to attention.

Another way Meow Wolf impresses is the people who built it used the space in a clever way. It’s in a warehouse, so there’s not that much space, but because everything twists around and is multileveled, it feels huge. And you get to see things you’ve seen before but from a totally different perspective.  This is a top view of the first two pictures posted on in this entry.

Most of the art just seems to be art for art’s sake, but some of it had subtle messaging. Like this “average teenage girl’s room.”

There were posters of teen stars, but none of them had faces–thus symbolizing the vapid nature of the business and interchangeability of pop stars. Not exactly deep stuff, BUT if you’re a teen girl, this message might be quite thought provoking.

It’s also bright! And colorful! And pretty! Can’t get a sense scale in this picture, but this is pretty big. There’s an entire stage in front where bands perform.

And it’s interactive! There are lots of things to touch, play with and plenty of light and sound based art.

And one thing I appreciated, it doesn’t take itself too serious. This is my problem most modern art and why I despise it. It’s pretentious as fuck. And boring. The people who built this did not lose their sense of humor. Or fun.

There’s so much art packed into this place it’s dizzying. You could spend hours and not see it all.

Meow Wolf would be a neat place to smoke a marijauna.

There were also plenty of dioramas! And I fucking love dioramas!

I’m pretty much wrapping up, here, not much more to say.

Oh, one more thing about it I thought was special is that it works so so many levels, kids, adults and super adults (old people) get a kick out of it. Yes, it’s “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.” But it really is. There’s just so much wacky weird fun shit everyone can run around (or walk slowly if you’re a super adult) and have fun. And there are places only kids can fit, so they can run off and escape their parents!

What else can I say? I’m often referred to as the “guy who hates everything” because I tend to hate everything dumb or mediocre and the world is filled with dumb and mediocre. But not Meow Wolf! They did it right. Perfect mix of various levels of art, genius use of space, tons of hidden doodads, even some kind of mystery if you want to try and figure it out.

High five, doods!

Also, when you leave you can get a very convincing reminder on why you should not drink and drive. Don’t drink and drive folks!

Kyoto! And Osaka!

When we went to Osaker, we decided to take a day trip to Kyoto! It’s a lot to see in one day, but we tried! Actually, we pretty much just got drunk and went to Monkey Mountain. Actually, this is the night before we left, still in Osaka. I don’t know what I’m doing.

This is the tourist district that is pretty fakkin cool for a tourist district. Lots of wacky shit to look at and fun restaurants. This may totally suck to Japanese people, but it’s pretty fun for me!

It’s a bar! Based on the James Brown song! We went there, and I’ll blog about that laters!

I love Osaker! The right mix of dingy cheesy old school touristy shit for me. Way better than Shibuya or some super clean spot.

Anywhere that has hilariously giant food is okay by me!

Still not sure what this is. A chair? A ride? Robo fish?

I also don’t remember what this was. Are they trying to scare away little kids? Or confused tourists? Or both?

More things I don’t remember! I think alcohol may have been involved at this point. A lot of alcohol.

Cool moon art! Smoking! This is actually something I would draw. That’s why it caught my eye.

I love the crazy perspective on this sign. Also, the epic old school art style. Plus, the degradation of the sign. It all adds up to make an art!

At a cafe before we went to before our trip. Classy!

From the other side!

And on the menu…

On the train to our train, we met a really nice Japanese lady who was studying English. I helped her with her homework!

Bullet trains look fuckin’ dope. There’s no two ways about it.

This is a town called Arashiyama, which translates to “Storm Mountain.” Look at this, ye olde Japan!

On the way up the mountain to see the monkeys, I spied this neat and mysterious ash tray. I’m guessing it’s some kind of James Bond rip off. I’M GUESSING.

“Don’t fuck with the monkeys!” was a sign theme all the way up the mountain. Especially, DON’T LOOK THEM IN THE EYES! That was on about 20 signs going up the mountain.

And here they are! They have a pretty easy life. All day, they just sleep, shake down tourists for food, pick bugs off each other and KICK THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE WHO LOOK THEM IN THE EYES.

They also fuck! But really fast! I was actually hoping to get some monkey fucking pics, but this blurry one is the best I could do. They’re faster than me!

A monkey shaking me down for food. Which I gave it. There’s probably some funny symbolism about me being in the cage here and the monkey being free. Probably.

Got lucky with some crazy cloud action that day. It was cloudy except for this huge swatch of sunlight which lit up Kyoto like gold. It was beautiful! I mean, not as beautiful as those monkeys fucking, but still, quite a sight!

Don’t do cell phone drugs!!!!

I wonder what this means to a Japanese person? Does it sound cool? Fancy? Forever?

Kyoto has no shortage of temples and shrines! But when it comes down to it, if you’ve seen one shrine, you’ve seen them all. Still, they’re worth a look.

This one’s in a mall!

We randomly found an amazing Osaka bar! I forgot the name! It was really fun! And the music was amazing!

Even their toilet was festive!

We met two super nice girls there that told us about a lazer light show temple or something, so we went!

And there was a crazy 3D Mapping Terrain light show or something. Seemed like everyone in town knew about it. Here’s a video!

That was about it. We went back to Osaka and I drank this Which is REALLY FUCKING GOOD. It’s like alcoholic Squit. Super tasty!

And we watched some Japanese TV teaching people English than passed out.

Next up…the last of Osaka! Then I’ll be done! Woooop!

Osaka! Day One!

I went to Osaka, like years ago and never got around to blarging because I’m super lame! Here are some long overdue pics from that adventure!

Japanese selfie stick warnings don’t fuck around!

The first place we stopped off the train was…Hooters! Osaka Hooters!

And it was just as cheesy and terrible as an American Hooters! In fact, it looked exactly the same!

Minor differences on the menu (Flapper Teasers are more expensive here)

After that it was off to the big tourist district for some Funassy!

The rainy night view from our room had the perfect grungy feel to it.

And the downtown touristy area had that dope Blade Runner feel! Wake up…time to die!

There’s also a beautiful river that runs through the area that looks amazing at night.

Walking around we found this monkey in front of a bar. If there’s a monkey in front of a bar, I will always go in!

It was a super old bar that had weapons from back in the day that they really used to use on people. I asked the guy what it was, but my Japanese is pretty bad, I think he called it an “Ass grabbling blood reamer” or something.

There were also ninjers around in case any patrons got rowdy (we didn’t!)

It was really nice inside. We went there 3 times!

Did not take us long to find a Don Quijote! The single greatest Japanese contribution to mankind! The front of the store was nuts! That’s a 100-foot tall amusement park ride!

But before you go into a Don Quijote, it is best to get drunk out of your fucking mind.

If you’ve never been to a Don Quijote, it looks like this…but with more stuff. Way more stuff.

Their mascot is an adorable little penguin named “Donpen.” He’s everywhere! Specifically drawings and paintings of him done by hand! Original to every different store. That in and of itself is amazing to me. There must be a team of drawers that go from store to store making art!

Don Quijote has many mysterious things, especially if you can’t read Japanese!

Painted Donpen art. He looks pretty fly in his fundoshi!

This is kind of cheating since it’s computer generated. BTW, Japan loves Christmas more than America. It is fakkin nutso over there around this time. I think they like people to buy stuff. Lots and lots and lots of stuff!

Not sure how this ties into Christmas, but probably makes sense to the average Don Quijote shopper!

Japan is the undisputed world champ of crazy underwear. This guy lost a googly eye!

This is very clever actually! Probably will help you get laid. Or at least pretend you are.

I think these are lights. For when you’re in a cave and you need light or something.

Black Man is a brand of underwear. Not targeted at black men, though. And this guy does not look like he’s cooling down at all!

I love the realistic art of this old lady being blown around!

I think this is to shut your kid up or something.

Donpen has a sexy girlfriend that can be seen throughout the stores, too. Or that’s actually Donpen in drag. I do not know.

Need some more shit? There’s like 5 more floors of it!

Another area Japan is beating us is in funny wig technology.

Men need stockings too, okay.

She can show you how.

There is no such thing as overdoing it in Japan.

The true meaning of Christmas…cheap, funny gifts!!!


Don’t take it personal, Blacky.

That was day one of Osaker! Day two coming up! Seriously, this time! Now that I’ve moved my blog to here, I am committed to weekly updates! Yerp!